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I Wanted to Be in the Best Shape of My Life at 60. Then I Lost My Leg.

  Before my accident, I kept saying the same thing to myself: I want to be in the best shape of my life when I turn 60. I meant it. I was hiking, walking, going to the gym. I was building strength in my body and imagining a future where I kept getting stronger, not weaker. Then the accident happened. I was still 59. I turned 60 in a hospital bed. I lost a leg. I fractured my other leg in multiple places. I broke ribs. I had vertebrae injuries. My body went into heart and kidney failure. Pain became constant, not occasional. Everything I thought I was building… was suddenly gone. And for a long time, I couldn’t understand something: If I was focusing on health, strength, and vitality… how did I end up here? I used to think maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I thought wrong. Maybe I “manifested” the wrong thing. But I’m starting to see something different now. Life isn’t a formula where good thoughts guarantee safe outcomes. Bodies exist in a world where accidents happen, s...

When the Future Spoke to My Heart

The other day, I had what I can only call a Satori moment — a sudden burst of awareness that cracked me open just enough to see something I’d been avoiding.

I was sitting there, letting myself drift into joy. I was visualizing the things I want to create — and what my future would look like, all flowing together in ways that light me up. I could feel the happiness start to bubble up inside me. That fizzy, almost electric sensation that says yes, this is the life I’m creating.

Then — boom — shutdown.
I blocked it. Just like that.

A familiar wall.
That subtle, silent sabotage whispering, “Don’t feel too much. Don’t get too excited. What if it doesn’t happen?”

It was as if some hidden part of me whispered, Don’t get your hopes up… what if it doesn’t happen?

I could feel myself shutting the door on joy before it could fully enter.

That lie dressed up like protection.

And then, I said it:
“Do I have a heart wall?”
And suddenly—tears. Full-body truth.

That wasn’t just a question. That was a key.
A code.
A moment when my whole soul leaned in and whispered,
Yes. Yes, you do. And yes, you’re ready now.

I couldn’t stop the emotion. I didn’t want to.
It was a YES from my body. From my heart. From the universe.
A flash of truth that cracked me wide open.

I’m ready to take it down.

So a little sacred heart work? Bring it.
Ugly crying? Fine.
Messy, emotional release? Bring it on.

Because I’ve been through hell and back already — my own body once tried to kill me, so what’s a little vulnerability going to do?

Being a smartass in the middle of a spiritual breakthrough? Always.
I’m not here to perform healing. I’m here to live it — loudly, awkwardly, beautifully.

This is the moment I chose my heart.
Not just to protect it — but to free it.

This isn’t about doubt in my skills or my path.
This is about my heart wall — that invisible shield the subconscious builds to protect us after hurt, loss, or disappointment.
It’s meant to keep pain out, but it also keeps joy, love, and connection at arm’s length.

So I created a ritual — a way to tell my body, my spirit, and my subconscious:
It’s safe now. You can let the wall go.


Heart Wall Releasing Ritual

You’ll need:

  • A selenite wand (or any crystal you feel called to use)

  • A candle or a love-centered crystal like rose quartz

  • A quiet space where you feel safe

Steps:

  1. Set your intention
    Hold your wand and say:
    “I am ready to lovingly release all trapped emotions and protective walls around my heart that no longer serve me.”

  2. Connect with your heart
    Place your hand over your chest. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6.
    Imagine soft golden or pink light in your heart space.

  3. See the wall
    Picture the wall around your heart — stone, ice, steel, whatever comes to mind.

  4. Release
    With each exhale, imagine a layer dissolving. Whisper:
    “I am safe without this wall. I am open to love, joy, and connection.”

  5. Sweep away the residue
    Using your selenite wand, sweep from the top of your head down to your feet three times, clearing away the old energy.

  6. Fill with light
    Visualize pure white light filling the space where the wall was.
    Let it wrap your heart in safety and warmth.

  7. Close with gratitude
    Thank yourself for the courage to do this. Blow out the candle as a sign of completion.


This isn’t about forcing the future or putting the infinite on a timeline.
It’s about clearing the space so that joy has somewhere to land when it arrives.
And maybe — just maybe — it’s about finally letting myself believe I deserve to feel that joy now.


Ready to Go Deeper?

If this stirred something in you — if you felt that tug in your chest or the welling up of emotion — that’s your heart telling you it’s ready for more.

You don’t have to navigate it alone.
Together, we can work on deeper clearing, deeper unblocking, and releasing the patterns that have kept you from fully stepping into your joy.

✨ Let’s open that door and see what’s waiting for you on the other side.

Begin Your Heart Work → Artful Living Coaching 

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