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The Reality Nobody Talks About After Becoming an Amputee

By The Artful Woman
  Nobody tells you that becoming an amputee basically turns your entire life into an Olympic event called: “Can I Make It To The Bathroom In Time?” Spoiler alert: Sometimes the answer is no. People see amputees out in public and think: “Wow. So inspiring. So strong.” Meanwhile at home, I’m one missed transfer away from becoming a biohazard. My life now revolves around timing. My bladder’s timing. My bowels’ timing. My cat’s timing. My dog’s timing. And unfortunately, I’m the slowest one in the house. Ironically, my cat seems to understand my disability more than my dog does. Which feels unfair considering the dog literally survived the accident with me and witnessed everything firsthand. But my cat watches me struggle like: “She is fragile. We must proceed carefully.” Meanwhile my dog is just out here operating under the belief that I still function like a normal human being. After my second surgery to remove hardware from my leg, I came home wearing a medical boot...
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I Forgive Myself

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By The Artful Woman

 

I Forgive Myself

I forgive myself—
For the moments I thought my life was not worth living,
And for the times I tried to take my own life.

I forgive myself—
For surrendering my power,
For losing my voice, for staying silent,
Even when I always knew my worth.
Somehow, I lost my way—
And that’s okay.

I forgive myself—
For allowing others to attack me,
For giving my energy to those who never deserved it,
For not fighting hard enough,
For not trying soon enough,
For neglecting my body,
For believing, for years, that it didn’t matter—
That no one cared.

I forgive myself—
For thinking that growing older meant being disregarded,
For retreating into the shadows when my father passed,
For giving up,
For surrounding myself with energy thieves
Who drained my spirit until I had nothing left to give.

I forgive myself—
For letting people steal my drive,
For hiding away from the world,
For believing that all people were the same—
When deep down, I always knew
I was meant to love, to shine, to connect, to live.

I forgive myself—
For dating men I knew were never worthy of me,
For giving myself to people who never deserved me,
For staying in relationships
That were only meant to hurt me.

I forgive myself—
For my failures,
For not recognizing them as stepping stones to success,
For allowing them to drain and defeat me
When they were meant to empower me
And show me the way to the path that was always meant for me.

I forgive myself—
For not trying harder to be smarter,
For underestimating my own intelligence,
For believing that I wasn’t capable
Of learning, growing, and evolving
Into the person I was destined to become.

I forgive myself—
For being my own harshest critic,
For believing the lies I was told,
For carrying the weight of words
That were never mine to endure.

I forgive myself—
For every dream I set aside,
For believing they weren’t meant for me,
That they were always someone else’s dream come true.
I forgive myself for thinking, Why not me?
Instead of declaring, Why not me!
For thinking I was bound by limits
That never truly existed.

But today—

I write a new story.
I step into my power.
I awaken to my purpose.
I reclaim the truth of who I am.

I am not my past.
I am my rise.
And I am spirit.

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